My sister and I in the summer of 1981
I've never thought that I come from a large family, but when people find out that there were four of us kids, they tell me that I did. It didn't feel much like it, though, probably because we were so spread out in age. My oldest sister is 11 years my senior and 7 years separate me from the next sister. After I was born, it was 6 years before my brother joined the family. The only childhood memories I have that involve a sibling are with the other middle sister, but even those are few and far between and I've only really come to know the other two in adulthood.

I hope for a very different experience for Silas. Steve and I don't know how many children we will be blessed with or when they will come into our lives, but if we do have more children, it is my hope that they will all be close together in age. This makes me gasp a little as I entertain the notion of nursing continuously for the next who-knows-how-many years, but I want my children to really know each other. To help each other discover the world. To dream together. To defend one another. To be friends.

My mom has had roller coaster relationships with each of her six brothers and sisters. There have been refusals to speak, hurt feelings, distance, and mended fences. Really harsh words have been uttered, sometimes with apologies following, sometimes not. So, I know that being close in age does not automatically lead to close in heart. But as my mom has finally forged a close bond with one of her sisters, she tells me again and again of the unique importance of that relationship and the value in working to maintain it.

My siblings are more closely related to me than anyone else on the planet. We share a common history and our futures are woven together. Those are things that I simply can't change (not that I'd want to) and it's all so much easier when we're friends as well as relatives. We can't choose our family, but we do choose how we interact with them and I hope that the foundation of those relationships has been love. Having that is one of my many wishes for my little boy.


  1. Such a cute photo! I have five siblings - one is 3 years younger than me (I'm the oldest), and the other four are 11 to 16 years younger. While I am closest to my baby sister, I must admit, I have no positive memories of small (my oldest bro and I haven't spoken in years) or big family life. We hadn't planned on having more than one child, but...well, as you say...maybe we can all learn to live and love together better.

  2. This was a beautiful post. I am not close with my sister. Nor are my parents close with their siblings. My girls are 12 years apart. It's difficult sometimes to watch them be close for now, but what about when the oldest leaves for college and the younger is in kindergarden? What will they have in common then? The things you have shared here seem to me to be universal to motherhood... I appreciate your courage in expressing them here!

  3. I have two sisters, me being the oldest. Even though we live several states apart, they are my best friends and we talk several times a week. My wish...that my children have the same thing!xx

  4. Love this post. I have one younger sister and as a kid, I always wanted more.
    Can't believe you guys are so spread out! I know that if we have another kiddo, it will happen within the next couple of years...

  5. I come from a family of four, I am the oldest , I had a sister who was 10 months younger then me, a brother 3 years younger than me and last brother is 16 years younger. Lost my sister several years ago but I am close to both my brothers but in two different ways. I think the biggest key to having these relationships for us is excepting and not judging. We are so different and although one brother is my pier the other I have more a protective relationship. I am the mother/step mother of 6 total. I wouldn't trade it for the world. They are all very different, but they find their common ground and enjoy it together whether it be a book , movie or hobbies. My oldest three are 21 to 18 and my youngest are 12 to 8. They will all find their relationship.

  6. My sister is my best friend! My daughter and son and their cousin all seem to be very close, more than I could hope for.

  7. sisters are 10 and 8 years older than me, i thought the same thing. i will have my kids close together and it will be great!

    yesterday i didn't want to be a mom anymore because the fighting was incessant. lol. THAT is something i never experienced with anyone and am flabbergasted at the amount of it.


  8. What a great post! People acted shocked when they found out I was expecting Gabe (he and Trinity are 12.5 months apart), and even more shocked that I was excited about having another baby so soon after my first. But I love the fact that they're so close in age, and I look forward to watching their friendship grow.

    I can't wait to watch your family grow! ;)

  9. Help the siblings rivalry child to live a balanced life and healthy. Stress can play an important role in children's moods and ability to handle everyday situations.