Renew (again)


It's been hard to get to this space lately. In those days of round-the-clock nursing in Silas' first year I had ample time to sit in our nest of pillows and blankets and read or let my mind wander. Most of my posts were pretty much composed in my mind before I ever sat down in front of the keyboard. But this past year, when we transitioned down to just a single nap a day, I find that my time for reflection is lacking. When I'm able to steal a half hour of computer time, I stare at the screen blankly not knowing just what it is that I want to say.

Rhythm has been on my mind. Finding it. Living it. There is a noticeable difference in our harmony when we are able to make a simple plan for the day, the week, and to follow it. We've got the anchors down. Sleep times and meal times are regular, planned, and for the most part, sacrosanct. It's easier for me that way, but more importantly, Silas is happier. I've neglected, however, to find space in that rhythm for me and for reflection.

We had a wonderfully positive and productive day earlier this week. Not only did I get laundry done and dishes done, but bread was also baked and apple butter was made. I've been holding my resolution word for the year -- renew -- close to my heart, focusing these first months on building community and trying to find my way back to the path to sustainable eating that I had started down. One of the results of such an effort being a bulk order of apples. As I chopped and endlessly stirred them in the pot, I thought back to my very first post on this here blog, almost three and a half years ago. So much has changed since then, and yet, I face some of the very same hurdles and challenges. Change is a long process, isn't it? But so very worth the effort.

7 comments:

  1. As the wee ones get older and older, I find it is so much harder to find time to just sit and think (and to blog). Hoping that you keep your rhythm and find the time you need for yourself.

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  2. I had someone ask me if we Mamas get more time to ourselves as the children get older, and I told her a resounding no. I love my boys, but I've found over the years that they are more demanding of my time as they have gotten older...even though one has left the house. It's very difficult and very important to find that rhythm. I hope you do...and then let me know how you do it ;)

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  3. I had never read your first post before, thanks for sharing it. I love the journey you started then and continue on today. That mama time rhythm is hard to come by isn't it? I have found I can find it sometimes but it isn't consistent, and really to get the most benefit it needs to be consistent. I hope you can find that space for you and time to reflect, such an important piece of the journey you are on.

    And I totally agree with change being a long process, and so very worth it :)

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  4. Dropping of naps is so hard. Especially when the first kid is napless and the second drops their morning nap. I remember feeling lost too. It will all come back in time. I'm glad you are cooking from scratch. That always makes me feel better!

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  5. I totally hear you, Courtney. I think Bea and Silas are very similar in ages, so we are following the same path. Rhythm and regularity are pretty important to us too. Thank you also for sharing your first blog post. There are definite similarities in our circumstances and the paths/journeys we have chosen to take - I've been blogging for around three years now too :) Keep cooking - I find that calms me too - so therapeutic!

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  6. I'm right there with you- my schedule has been so crazy lately that I haven't had time to think, much less read or write. But I was getting so stressed that I decided to carve out time for it. I've only been back to daily/near-daily blogging for a week or so now, and I'm already calming down in other aspects of my life. It's a great release. I hope you find a new rhythm soon that allows a bit of time for you!!

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  7. A recent post by Lisa at Hullabaloo Homestead comes to mind. She said she is often asked how she "does it all." Her response is "intention." Interesting, eh? She goes on to explain a little bit that she writes down a rhythm for how she wants her days to go - no schedule, but a loose rhythm. It seems our weekly discussions include this theme in one form or another. We'll all get there! Intention. I'm chewing on that for awhile ... so simple, yet ...

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