30 Days of Gratitude: Days 29 & 30


There is still so much that has gone unmentioned! Thirty days really isn't enough to contain all that I'm grateful for and I guess, ultimately, my goal wasn't to enumerate every single blessing. It's so easy for me to get wrapped up in the drama or the frustration of the moment that I need to practice pausing, breathing,  releasing those negatives and letting my mind be filled with the positives, both small and large. That can be a really challenging thing to do sometimes. All those emotions that I'm ultimately ashamed that I feel--self-righteousness, judgment, unnecessary worry, anxiety, anger--are also the ones that I find so easy to slip into. That smug satisfaction we feel when we prove someone wrong (or the like) is so tempting, isn't it? But, it's such a waste of time and time is not something that I have an abundance of, really. Silas will be two in a couple months and I'm not really sure how that happened. Whether I'm ready for it or not, time keeps soldiering on and I would so much rather enjoy the ride than be grumpy because I'm focusing on what I don't have rather than on what I do.

So, on this final day of November, I am most grateful for the community, both my in-person community and that which we've created here, that has inspired me so much to dig in and do the hard work of trying to be a better person, trying to see the good that lives in the heart of each individual, and trying to project only those qualities that are worth the effort to cultivate. I'm grateful for love, for patience and for kindness. I'm grateful for seeing the bigger picture. I'm grateful for making mistakes and having the opportunity to try again. I'm grateful for forgiveness, from others and of myself. I'm grateful for reflection and warmth and generosity. I'm grateful that I've felt the lack of all these things so that I know how truly wonderful they are. I'm grateful for letting go and I'm really grateful for Silas. It is through him that I've learned most of these lessons and because of him that I've realized just how important they are. 

6 comments:

  1. i could have written that first part. it is so easy to sort of go into those darker emotions and kind of wallow there. i was doing that quite a bit this past week. it is, in my opinion, always a good thing to remember our blessing, try and focus on what we do have and be present. you can't change what happened but you can learn from it. and gratitude,always, always gratitude.have a wonderful weekend

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  2. So well said. We have to remember to good and let go of the bad. Have a lovely weekend!

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  3. Thanks for sharing all of your gratefulness this month. It is something that we should all focus on more often! Happy weekend!

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  4. So lovely! I too focus a lot on what I don't have, like winter weather , instead of focusing on ow beautiful it it's outside everyday.

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  5. Sometimes when you feel so down and you can't have control over your depression anymore, you should look at the small good things in your life and appreciate every single gift you have, even you are sick or you are dying be grateful for having for one hair on your head or one sane organ... It will certainly give you strength to fight for your life.

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