Finding Time

Photo from KCRG News.

Several months ago my chiropractor (who I adore) very tactfully told me that I needed to start to find some time for myself. I was there for the first time without Silas and she said there was a special sparkle in my eye because of it. No matter what it was that I chose to do with that time, she advised, I needed to carve out some space for "me." She's not the first person to tell me this, nor will she be the last, I'm sure. Here's the problem. I agree with her wholeheartedly. Really. But, logistically, I don't know how to make this happen. I love Silas more than I can bear and I truly enjoy his company. When we're apart for too long I really do feel like I'm missing part of my own body. But, I fully admit that it would be oh so wonderful to have the option to go and to do, without him.

We've gotten into a pretty predictable groove. He naps and eats regularly and has a pretty set bedtime. This is something that he has chosen, not me. And while I love the predictability, I'm also pretty locked into those times and because he has a really hard time napping anywhere that is not home, I can never really stray too far away. If I try to delay his bedtime, by even 15 minutes, I end up with a frantic, crying baby. So, I've learned to respect his natural rhythms and to put my desire to go and to do on hold for awhile.

Tonight at 7:00 at City Hall, there's a city council meeting at which will be discussed the impending demolition of several old houses near downtown Iowa City. One of them is home to the Red Avocado, pictured above, an all-vegan, mostly-organic, locally-owned restaurant that has been adding to the vibrancy of downtown for a dozen years. The plan is to replace it with a cookie-cutter apartment building that will be completely out-of-place in this historic neighborhood. There's really nothing to be done about the plan for tearing it down, the developer who bought the property can do that if he chooses. But, the city would have to rezone the area to allow him to put up an apartment building, which is something that we can do something about.

I yearn to go. I would love to make my voice heard and to show my support for local businesses. I've seen in the past how powerful public response can be at these meetings. But at 7:00, I will be nursing and rocking my baby to sleep. If you're local, please try to make it. If you can't, please consider signing the petition.

5 comments:

  1. Ya know I think the time comes for you to have time when you are both ready. Not all of us need a "night out" when our little ones are young. I respect those that do, but it took years before I even wanted to leave my littles for just a bit of time. Go at your own pace and do what feels right to you. And luck with the petition.

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  2. I'm with Angie on all of this; I never wanted to leave my babies either. Even now, with my youngest at 6 feet and 14 years old my children are still my favorite people to hang with.
    I wish was was local,I would go and offer a voice.

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  3. I never left my babies and I am glad I did what I did. They only stay little once and you have to do what feels right to you. I hope the houses get saved!

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  4. Its hard- I still don't like leaving my 'babies'- I have more fun with my family than without- always.
    I hope the apartments don't get built.

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  5. I'm discovering the same feeling with my now 13 week old. My inner "old" self feels the need to keep true to some of my pre-child actvities but in my heart I can't been torn away. Despite what I sometimes long to do, nothing beats those precious moments when I am nursing and rocking my baby to sleep. I hope to find some balance soon, because I think it is important to keep a bit of yourself in order to be a good mama but its hard. Good luck in finding your balance too!

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