My Own Quickening

For me, it wasn't those early twangs of nausea.  Or hearing the heartbeat.  It wasn't feeling the first flutters of movement.  For me, the moment that my pregnancy felt "real" was over four months in when my suddenly protruding belly button caused my belly button ring to literally pop out of my body. I think up until that point I had been able to rationalize the changes I had been going through and to put them out of my mind because they had been so gradual.  So subtle.  But in that active moment, it all became concrete. Real. In some stupidly symbolic way, my body pushing out that ring (which I've had in for over a decade) was a transformative moment into a new season of my life. A leaving behind of my own childhood and self-centeredness and a tentative first step into an adult world where a life truly and fully depends on me. 
There really is a baby growing in there.

8 comments:

  1. Oh, my! Hope that didn't hurt too much. You will be a wonderful mother - it is a true adventure.....

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  2. Such a exciting time for you! Congrats and savor every moment~ My daughter is due the end of January and my daughter in law is due the first of April~ we can't wait!

    ps..love your new header~

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  3. Oh wow. :) I love this self reflection.

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  4. wow, that's awesome. I love the idea of the belly ring representing your old life, with you at the center, and now you are moving into something much greater. Reminds me that it really is all about something bigger than ourselves.

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  5. What a great reflection. How are you feeling these days?

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  6. There really IS a baby in there! I put longer bars in when I was pregnant for the belly ring, but have since taken it out as a physical therapist had said it was impinging on nerve function! ew. Parenting is an amazing journey for you and them...enjoy it...even mine at 6 and 4 I feel like it is going too fast!

    :)
    Jen

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  7. Well, congratulations! I wandered back over to see if you were writing again. Glad to see the pause in writing was for a happy reason!

    -Brenda

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